It is hard to have people ask about news of the adoption because there never seems to be news. Tears come to my eyes and a lump in my throat when people ask. There is recognition of that emptiness, knowing Joshna is not yet home. Not only that, but she does not even know about us. Does she wonder why no one is adopting her when families come for the other children? Does she cry for a mom? Does she have any idea what is waiting for her--parents, sister, pets, extended family, close friends, and a community that has waited a long time for her?
I want to know it will happen soon (especially since our US approval expires in June), but it is hard for me to pray for this anymore. Is my faith really that shallow? I know God knows. I know He hears my heart, even when words cannot be articulated. It just seems hard to believe that a little girl sits in an orphanage for an extended time when she could be with her family! These are crucial years, and I want to be the one to have an impact on them. I know, God is trying to teach me that He has the impact on all the years, not me. He knows the right time, and He will raise her and protect her and provide for her while she is in India...and after coming home. This knowledge still does not ease the heartache while we wait. I want to post the blog that reads..."Approval!!!" It would have been great to have this post dated in 2010. At least something will happen in 2011. Until then, the ticker of time waiting for Joshna ticks on....
