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Monday, February 14, 2011

There's a wocket in my pocket???

Well, today is Valentine's Day.  That means our family, for the past fourteen days, has been giving each other little goodies to show a small token of our love and appreciation for each other.  These goodies--be it a homemade picture, silly band bracelets, or bubble gum--are placed in a special box or pocket made for each individual member of the family.  We call them "Love Pockets," after we discovered this idea from Ellie's preschool.  In case you may be wondering, yes, Joshna has her very own Love Pocket.  She is already a part of our family in so many ways, despite not being physically present, that we wanted her to know how much she is loved when she comes home to find her goodies waiting for her...even months after Valentine's is officially over.  Today's love pocket gift was a new thermos for the upcoming India trip.  Ellie received a blue thermos with her newest favorite character, Toy Story, while Joshna received a purple Tinkerbell one.  It has been special to find little treats for both girls!  I look forward to the day when they are both here to open next year's love pockets together!

I need to keep remembering this when I face rough days.  Yesterday during the worship service at church, I could not keep from crying.  It was breaking my heart to know Joshna was not there sitting with us, her family, where she belongs.  Ideally she would have come home on March 29, 2010...the day she was eligible for international adoption.  But God has another plan for our family.  I do appreciate this time to prepare for her homecoming.  I am just ready for that to happen.  The approvals seem to take so long!  We did just receive a Valentine email from our social worker saying she heard that our case has been filed with the Chennai court for our "scrutiny hearing" but to not count on anything happening for at least another month.  Even though this is good news, my heart is not becoming excited.  I am tired and worn down from this process.  After almost 3 years and five month of waiting, I am definitely feeling helpless and weak.  Yes, this is pointing me to God, who is not helpless and weak!  He will bring her home in His timing.  Until then, I will work on making the girls' room ready and wait....and wait....and wait!

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