These days in India

So much has happened these past few days.  We are just trying to soak it all in as we get to know our daughter!  She is so full of life and energy, just waiting until she sees something else new.  I had assumed she would be overwhelmed at it all and retreat to herself, but she is completely the opposite.  She loves playing games with us...and not the intentional Uno kind of game.  She loves the "potty game"--where she pulls up her shirt or dress to tell us she needs to go potty.  Once we have her diaper off, she shakes her head no to tell us she really does not need to go...but then says, "soap!" and points to the sink.  Joshna LOVES to lather her hands with soap--although she now has progressed to lathering her arms and legs too!  She is great at splashing her face with water to clean it (the kids all did this in the orphanage after meals).  Whew, this routine is wearing us out, but Joshna is so excited with it that it is hard to tell her no.  :)  She definitely has a very strong will (yes, another daughter with one!).  She pitches the biggest screaming fits and then looks over to see if we are watching.  She hates it when Chip leaves (in case you did not read, I was the one to give her the lice treatment, so she bonded with him because she was mad at me!).  She will scream and scream until she realizes I am not going to give in and go after him.  She looks at me, gives me a silly pouty look, and then huffs with her breath.  Whew, we are in store for some fun times ahead!

Joshna has loved being on the go and around people.  She waves to everyone when they wave to her, and she likes to blow them kisses.  She even does the "Namaste" bow with prayer hands!  Unfortunately, she attracts many oooos and ahhhs--all in front of Ellie. Finally one of the head managers at the hotel came up to Ellie today and said, "It must be hard having a sister receive so much of the attention."  After I translated his English to her, she just grinned because someone finally understood what she is going through right now.  He then said, "You're cute too!"  We have sure had a huge transition with Ellie this past week.  She is throwing some huge fits, and Joshna justs looks at her as if to say, "What's up with you?"  Yes, as I just finished mentioning, Joshna has had her share of fits too!  I need to remember...that which does not kill us makes us stronger!  (Are you sure???)

Today was another day spent at the doctor's office and US Embassy.  Turns out Joshna does have TB--we were quite scared that the Embassy would not grant her visa, but the doctor did not seemed too concerned.  While we waited for the medical report to be written, we met two other families from the US who are adopting kids from India (also from Chennai).  It is interesting that adopting from India is a very lengthy and difficult process, yet at least three US families are bringing home children at the same time.  Hopefully we will be able to keep in touch with each other (one of the dads in the group actually speaks Tamil--the language spoken in Chennai!).  Thankfully the work at the Embassy went well. The lady who helped us was an Indian who must have grown up in the US.  She spoke with a thick southern accent and kept saying "like".  My favorite sentence she used was, "This is like the most complicated thing!" (speaking of our paperwork).  No kidding!  I just wanted to laugh and tell her she has not even begun to see just how complicated.  And this is someone who works for the US government saying this?  Whew...it really proves we have been through the ringer!

The only problem we encountered today was when that same woman at the Embassy noticed our home study report.  It stated we are agreeable to adopt a child with minor, correctible needs.  The orphanage had checked off many medical conditions they thought might be a potential with Joshna.  Of course, they have no medical training.  They just check off what they think possible.  On the list was a neurological condition that could mean either very mild developmental delays or severe needs with life-long medical treatment.  This woman was so concerned that we would not try to "get out" of our duty to parent this child based on the word "correctible" in our home study, that she wanted to call the orphanage and doctors to look into this more.  I tried to assure her that we have already bonded with Joshna, and as far as we are concerned, we are her parents regardless of what diagnosis lies ahead.  Finally, I teared up and she got the point that I am this child's mother!  That ended that one.  :)

I now know what all of the fuss is over the "monsoon season".  Today it rained for less than an hour, and the roads were a mess!  Water pooled in the dips in the roads and delayed the masses of cars, trucks, buses, and rickshaws.  What would have been a 15-20 minute drive in Nashville took almost an hour here.  It was also a ride in a taxi that was on empty with AC that did not work with 100% humidity and incredibly heat!  I thought we would never make it, but after almost six hours of being away, we returned to the wonderful world of air conditioning!  Chip, Ellie, and I went for a swim in a cold pool while Chip's mom sat with Joshna while she napped.  Upon returning from the pool, Joshna woke up in a great mood.  After snuggling with Chip for a while, she began singing and dancing!  After a while, she started singing "Happy Birthday!"  It was all a bit too much for Ellie, so she and I stayed in the room to eat together while Jackie, Chip, and Joshna went to dinner downstairs in the fancy dining room.  When they returned, Jackie said it was a good thing we didn't go.  Joshna sang and danced, she flirted with all of the men behind the buffet, blew kisses to people-- basically she drew plenty of attention the entire time.  It would have driven Ellie nuts!  Hopefully this phase will quickly move into a more settled phase for the two of them.  In the meantime, we are in for some fun!

Exhaustapated!!!

When I was a kid (12 years old), I had a nightgown that said, "Exhaustapated!"  It was my favorite one to wear each night...I think because it would be the one word I use constantly to sum up my life as a parent!  Whew...I am exhaustapated!  I will try to write a longer blog tomorrow, but we have spent every waking minute trying to run after our little girl...or calm down our big girl when the little girl does something annoying.  It is so wonderful to have them both together--even if it does mean sibling rivalry!  They are sleeping next to each other right now, each with their pillow pet and blankies.  I think I will join them and write tomorrow instead.  Until then....

Joshna's here!!!

Our daughter is with us!  She is precious--what else can I say?  Last night was a bit much for her, so she was full of apprehension at what was happening. Overnight I let myself worry about everything that could possibly go wrong today (Wednesday, July 13th) when we picked her up from Christ Faith Home. Thankfully, God was merciful and helped us all be in good spirits!  It went amazingly well!  (Thank you for all of the prayers for this!)  She was in school when we arrived (all children over three years go to the little kids class where they learn the Roman alphabet.  She was learning her capital and lower case letters!!!  We took her out of class to go upstairs to be with her younger friends who are under the age of three.  It was just in time for lunch (rice and chicken). Joshna let us feed her (she put the spoon in my hand immediately and pointed to her dish--she knew exactly what she wanted me to do!).  After lunch was nap time, so I spent a little time sitting with the house mothers while they ate.  They offered me some food, so I said I would have just a bite to taste it.  Since the women eat by gathering a soupy dish with a ball of rice, one of them made it for me.  I reached out to take it with my hand, but the woman smiled and just lifted my chin and put the food in my mouth for me.  The others all began to laugh.  She did it again before I had a chance to say anything, followed by another woman who put a wonderful beet dish in my mouth.  These were not small wads of food, and I was beginning to become very full. Thankfully they could tell, and they did not offer again.  One of the women said she wanted to come home with us to be our cook (at least that is what I gathered from the very broken English).  The others said we should take her home with us.  It must be very hard for these women to know the young children have the opportunity to go to the US and have a different future.  Because of the caste system it is hard for any of the women in that room to marry and have a family.  They are each others family, as well as any children who remain in the orphanage for an extended time.  Words cannot describe the love I have for them and what they do for these children!  They raised my baby girl during her very crucial formative years.  I am forever grateful!

Since Joshna was napping, we all decided to have a quick rest too.  Josh, the main caretaker of the facilities and women, is a kind man around our age.  His eyes seemed to communicate a very familiar feel, as if we have met before.  His home (or perhaps an apartment for the orphanage) is a few blocks away from the orphanage, so he took us there to lie down on bunk beds.  It was nice to be able to rest while our social worker was out running errands to finalize paperwork for us.

After returning to the orphanage 1 1/2 hours later, we were able to meet with the director (who had been out all day) and ask questions.  We signed a couple of pieces of paper, they brought Joshna to us, she and Ellie were given silver ankle bangles as gifts to remember her, her caretaker (Sarasu) came to say goodbye to her, we had a cup of hot tea, and we were on our way back to the hotel in order to change hotels again! Joshna cried a little saying goodbye, but by the time the car left the orphanage she was just watching everything around her.

Once back to the orphanage, we were able to play together in the room by ourselves before we checked out.  This gave us a great bonding time, and Joshna warmed up to us quickly.  She wanted her sister to play with her, so she would take Ellie's hand and drag her wherever she wanted to go!  It's funny, Joshna is very quick to point to what she wants and shove our hands or arms away when she does not want something.  She is very opinionated, just like her sister!  There are actually so many similarities in them and in our entire family.  It will be an interesting week ahead to see more of her personality come through.  

She, Chip, and Ellie are all snuggled in bed sleeping right now (I have been awake since 3 am).  The one  thing we needed to do before going to bed tonight was to have a lice treatment.  Joshna was not a fan of that and screamed during her bath.  Afterward, she wanted nothing to do with me!  She gave me a mean look and then went to give Chip a huge hug, as if to say, "Ha!  See if I ever hug you again!"  It's funny how children are so universal in their actions!  We then went soon to bed (although Joshna wanted to stay up and play with a light-up ball we had given her...woops!).  She still did not want to go to sleep until Chip returned from his shower and went to sleep with her.  Hopefully some candy bribery will do the trick to help her forget her lice treatment!

I should go, since there in only another 30 minutes or so before she might wake up again. I can't wait to update more later!

Together with Joshna!

 

Today we met our daughter for the first time!!!  She was a bit overwhelmed, as were we, having rushed from the airport to make it in time right before dinner and bedtime.  She is very quiet and reserved. When asked a description of her personality, they immediately described her as "moody!"  Jackie (Chip's mom) immediately responded, "Oh good...she'll fit in with the rest of the family!"  That about sums it up in a nutshell.  We are all exhausted and moody right now (especially in this heat, with no regular meals or sleep), and we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow at the orphanage and as we return to some hotel (the one tonight is fully booked tomorrow). Please pray for rest for all of us and a peaceful transition.  We will update more details later.  Thanks again for all of the kind words of support and the prayers right now!

Tomorrow, tomorrow!

Today we woke up early again (not intentionally).  Chip had a fever, and the rest of us felt run down trying to fight whatever it is that is wearing us out.  By 10 am Chip's fever was gone, and he was feeling like a new person, so we hired a car for the day.  We went to India Gate (very similar to Centennial Park with a playground, ponds with paddlewheel boats, but with a memorial to all who have died in WWI and the Afghan War of 1919 instead of the Parthenon).  It was here that Ellie was bombarded by paparazzi again (this time a father went so far as to put Ellie's arm around his son for the photo!).

From there we went to the Cottage Industries Emporium, a shopping experience full of handicrafts from all over India in one very large (and non-airconditioned) building which is run by the government (i.e.-no haggling!).  We did not make it through the entire facility because anyone who has tried to take a seven year old shopping in extreme heat and humidity knows that you will not make it very far.  Thankfully they do sell cold water!

After that we tried to make it to an enclosed, air conditioned mall for lunch to let Ellie experience a McDonald's in another country for comparison, but the driver became lost again and took us to what seemed like the far end of the earth to a random sari shop at a dead end in a little village.  It would have been nice to find a sari, but we were overcome with heat in a car that did not have much AC and that seemed to possibly break down at any moment (transmission problems).  Since we were not feeling well, we skipped lunch and went back to the B&B.

After resting, everyone else seemed to feel much better--except me.  Unfortunately, I am now officially sick.  While I slept, Chip talked with our Indian social worker.  They arranged details for our trip...we leave tomorrow for Chennai!  After stopping briefly at our hotel to meet up with the social worker, we head straight for the orphanage to meet Joshna for the first time!!!  We will spend a couple of hours there getting to know her.  Then we go back to the hotel for the night and return to the orphanage the next morning (Wednesday).  We fly back to Delhi on Thursday, where we spend time at the US Embassy on Friday, doctors visit for Joshna on Saturday, back to the Embassy on Monday, and home on Tuesday/Wednesday.

It is all happening so much faster than I could have imagined!  I am off to bed again.  We would appreciate more prayers for our health to hold up through this time.  Thanks so much!  We look forward to giving an update tomorrow night!

Our second day in Delhi...

On our second day in Delhi we were all wiped out.  Allergies and pollution are very strong, and we are all fighting off colds.  After breakfast Chip, Ellie and I decided to walk up to the local pool to swim at "The Club" in the gated community where our B&B is located. Guests here are supposed to be able to use the facilities there without problem, but imagine anonymous people walking into "The Club" at home and trying to use those facilities.  We were looked up and down by several sets of people, showing paperwork to prove our stay here, before we even set foot near the pool.  Murphy's Law...as soon as Ellie and Chip were ready to swim, thunder hit.  Thankfully they let you swim regardless of the weather, otherwise we would have had one not happy camper!  It was a very uncomfortable feeling, knowing we did not belong to the exclusive club--we didn't stay long.  (We have been warmly welcomed by everyone else here.)

Walking home from the pool

The walk home from the Club felt like walking home from the pool at the Monteagle Sunday School Assembly (a small community where we grew up going each summer)--many trees, gravel streets, dogs running loose...although they never had Indian women carrying laundry on their heads!  We have loved our stay at the Thikana B&B--wonderful food from "The Club" (delivered, of course!), borrowed movies from the 9 and 6 year old girls in the family who owns the B&B, two dogs (we are missing Jack), homemade baked Indian treats, and plenty of bottled water!

Crowds at the Lotus Temple

After swimming we took a very long nap to help fight off these colds.  It was hard waking up, but we managed and headed out to the Lotus Temple.  It was crowded with so many people, and the heat and humidity was awful!  We had a long walk up to it and a long wait to go inside, but it was worth it.  It is designed for light to reach the inside through the petals of the blossom...a treat to see for an architect and his family!  On the way out, we were stopped by some Indian families who wanted to take photos of their children with Ellie.  Poor thing...she had been a trouper this entire time of sweating and walking and waiting.  Now she was bombarded by the "paparazzi" of India (we knew to expect this, as many people never encounter young fair skinned kids from the US).  She had a glimpse of what it is like to be famous, and she did not like it one bit!

Ellie and the Paparazzi!

Because we weren't feeling well, we headed home to order food from the Club (an entire meal feeding 3-4 people cost only $12).  We watched a family movie together and headed to bed early.  It is now just after 5 in the morning, and Chip woke up with a fever.  Monday will probably be a day at home for rest before we travel to Chennai on Tuesday.  We would appreciate prayer for our bodies to heal and rest in time for Joshna to join the family. Thanks!

In India!

Thanks for all of the prayers.  After a VERY long day of travel, we made it to Delhi and had a few hours of sleep.  The flight was overbooked by 37 people, so we were grateful to have seats--even if that meant sitting in four different sections of the plane...all middle seats!  Thankfully, there was a very nice couple who agreed to change seats to let Chip and Ellie sit next to each other.

We are heading to breakfast at the B&B and for a swim at the local pool a little while later. Sweet dreams! Hopefully we will be able to stay awake all day.  :)

Three more days...

Three more days until we leave for India!  So much to do....so little time.  It doesn't matter!  All that matters is our little girl is coming home!!!   WAHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

On our way to our daughter!!!

We are thrilled to let you know we were given official approval to book our trip today!  Our case had been held up with the USCIS, and we were in the middle of drafting an email to our congressman, when we received notice to hold off on the email.  Hours later we had news that we could go ahead and book our trip for July 7th!  It seems so hard to believe that we leave in a week.  Two weeks from today, we will be holding our sweet girl!  Day after day my heart was hurting to not have her home.  It seemed like it would be decades until we would be together.  Wow....just two weeks!

Our family of three was having our weekly Friday movie night tonight when we saw a preview for a show on television a week from now.  Ellie wanted to watch it, but I had to say, "Sorry, we will be in India!"  I never thought I would hear myself say those words. Just think, our family of four will be home in a few weeks and can some day have movie night all together (for now Ellie is priding herself in being the big sister who can stay up to watch something that is too mature for Joshna to watch!).

It took me four hours on the phone today (while we had a pool full of people over...sorry second graders!), but I was finally able to finalize our flights for everyone.  Joshna does not have a last name as an orphan, so her Indian passport will just say "Jyotsna."  For her plane ticket they had to enter two names, so they entered "Miss" for her first name and "Jyotsna" for her last.  We were laughing tonight about how the airlines are flying Miss Joshna!  We always knew she is special, but for Continental Airlines to recognize it....:)

There will be many more updates to come, so for now I will try to go get some sleep. Thanks again for the many prayers.  Please continue to pray for the USCIS approval to physically arrive in plenty of time and for all of us to be physically and emotionally prepared for the many changes, especially Joshna. Thank you!

Prayers are answered...again!

God certainly is good!  On Tuesday, June 7th, following some discouragement, we sent the following email requesting prayer again:

_________________________________________________________________

Family and friends…we do not yet have too much information.  So far, here is the update:

When we received approval from the judge two days prior to the close of the courts in Chennai for the summer, we were not aware that the court documents needed to be processed before the close.  This did not happen.  (Another family who received their court approval a week before us, did receive their court documents toward the beginning of May.)  We have been waiting for the Chennai courts to reopen—this happened yesterday, June 6^th (it could have been worse…many cities remain closed for another month or two).  We are hoping the documents will be prepared and delivered this week.  They are necessary to apply for Joshna’s Indian passport and to file our I-600 USCIS application to adopt Joshna.  As you may remember, June 26^th is our USCIS deadline for filing the I-600.  Because it will take one to four weeks for the court documents to arrive and because it takes two to four weeks for her passport to be issued, we are looking at a date past the 26^th when we can apply for the I-600 in New Delhi.  The only way to avoid applying again for the I-600a with the USCIS is to file for the I-600 domestically in DC by June 26^th.  Once we file for the I-600, we are ineligible to apply for the I-600a again. 

Yes, these forms are confusing to remember what is what.  The important things to remember for prayer are…

• that the court documents would arrive within a week
• that they would be received by our adoption agency in the US very soon thereafter 
• that our TBI background check would be completed quickly so that an updated home study done yesterday can be sent with our I-600 application 
• that all necessary forms and documents would be received by the USCIS a week prior to June 26^th (in case there are problems that need solving) 
• that our case would officially be accepted by the USCIS near our deadline of the 26^th (cases applied for domestically can take 2-3 months for approval, versus the 2-3 days for approval if submitted in New Delhi….we will try to have our case expedited with someone high in the USCIS) and that there would be no problems with our acceptance so that we are not starting completely over with an I-800a application (this would delay our trip later than the fall) 
• that Joshna’s passport would be issued quickly and coincide with our I-600 acceptance so that we can travel and bring her home as soon as possible

 

During our home study yesterday, our social worker commented that it has been way to long for Joshna to come home.  She has worked with international adoptions for over ten years, so for her to say this means a great deal.  Of course, in our book, it has been way to long….but we are emotionally attached.  She knows delays in adoptions, and this one is even uncharacteristic for her.  The past week has been very hard on all of us, especially Ellie.  She is confused and has no idea what is true anymore.  We were told to prepare for travel.  Now travel is not happening soon because of the court document delay.  They had no way to foresee the documents not arriving due to the court closing, but this news is still frustrating.  How does a seven year old take these delays which none of us understand?  She has had many meltdowns.  She will cry often and throw fits over very little things, while saying she has no idea why she is behaving this way.  Here I am, 38 years old, and acting the same way!    We are grateful for the conversations this has created in our family about the lessons God is teaching us through all of this….we are just at a point where we would love to move past these lessons and have Joshna join our family.  I am now ready for the sibling rivalry lessons!  (Be careful what I wish….)

Thank you all for the continued prayers.  We thank God for answering the prayers for peace and strenth during this time!  We have definitely felt those being answered!  I have had the ability to complete the additional paperwork that I once found so daunting.  I do not worry about tomorrow as much as I was a month ago (when I become “perfect” at this, I will let you know!).  My Dad’s stroke has taught me so much about living each day as it comes.  It is all in God’s control, and He will carry us through.  The paperwork delays inabled all of us to visit Dad and Betty in San Antonio over the holiday weekend (it was a very special time for Ellie and her Opa).  This last minute trip would not have been possible if we had gone to India already.  We are learning more and more to thank God in all circumstances and to trust Him even when we do not understand.  Thanks for your patience and prayers with us through all of this.  We are grateful for our dear community of believers!

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On Thursday, June 9th, we received good news and sent out a follow-up email:

Praise God, for He IS GREAT!!!  Time after time we have sent a prayer request, and time after time He has answered quickly!  We are extremely grateful for showing us His plan and encouraging us as we wait for our daughter to come home!  We just heard from our social worker that they will receive Joshna’s court documents via email today.  They will then be sent to a Director at the USCIS, who already knows about our case and will try to help expedite it.  Our home study will be ready next week with the TBI results.  Joshna’s passport will be applied for next week.  Our social worker said we could possibly be traveling the first or second week of July!  Prior to hearing this news, Ellie started doing so much better.  She is able to ask questions and articulate feelings much better….we all three feel very close through all of this.  We are very thankful for your prayers and are still very much in need of them.

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This journey has been an incredible one!  As hard as it has been, we are grateful for the lessons God has been teaching us throughout these past four years.  Once our family is all together, I know Joshna will be worth far more than all of the minutes we have spent waiting for her!  Soon....soon!

my heart is hurting...

It has now been a month since our court approval...and one more month until our USCIS approval expires (June 26th).  Each day has brought excitement, concern, anticipation, joy, and sadness.  One minute I am up.  The next down.  Joshna is in my heart every day, even though she is not yet in my arms.  I look forward to those first moments together, but then I am reminded that we are not there yet.  We have the verbal approval from the court, but the court documents are not yet ready.  If the documents came today, the orphanage would receive them and send them on to apply for her Indian passport.  That process takes an additional ten business days, putting us around June 10th....that is, if her documents come today.  The longer they take to arrive, the closer we come to our June 26th deadline.  It takes about a week in New Delhi, after we pick up Joshna, to have her tested for TB and finish paperwork at the US Embassy for her visa.  This puts us around June 17.  Our social worker has now expressed concern about how close we are cutting it to that deadline, so she is wanting us to go ahead and reapply with the USCIS.  This will require another home study, redundant paperwork, and the extra cost and time.  This seems like the last hurdle at the end of a very long race, and I am just not sure how I am going to possibly get my body over something so very high.  It seems I will just collapse into it and not be able to get up.  Of course I will get up, for Joshna, but I have lost any momentum I may have had.  God, please be my strength!  Please carry me across the finish line and bring our daughter home!

We are parents again!!!

Just heard the news that the courts approved us to be Joshna's parents!  I'll write more later...so full of excitement and joy!  Thanks again for the prayers!

The power of prayer...again!

Yesterday we requested prayer from our family and friends.  With three days of court remaining before the summer holidays and monsoon season, we needed a miracle.  We received that miracle!  God is so good (regardless of the outcome!).  We received news from our social worker that our case is scheduled to go before the judge tomorrow (which is now today), Wednesday, April 27th.  One friend in Houston prayed specifically for an answer soon saying, "God, today would be good."  Just a few hours later we had an answer to that prayer.  Once again, God heard and was gracious enough to give us a quick answer.

I looked up our case online in the Chennai (Madras) court system.  We are case #1588.  It was so exciting to see our case "Pending."  I will keep checking back until I see the final outcome..."Approved!"  Until then, please keep up the prayers....we know how powerful God is!

The roller-coaster of life...

Whew...much has happened since my last post.  At the beginning of April, my Dad experienced an esophageal tear (spontaneous...will probably never have one again). Because he was on blood thinners for his atrial fibrillation to prevent another stroke (he had one 2 1/2 years ago), he lost about 60% of his blood with this tear.  Thankfully the doctors were able to close the tear, and he began healing very well.  Because the tear needed time to heal, they took him off the blood thinner during that time.  Two weeks from the day of his tear, he was given the okay to restart the blood thinner.  That morning Dad had a stroke.  I was with him and was able to give aspirin immediately, an ambulance came within minutes, and the clot buster drug, tPA, was given within two hours of the stroke.  He has stabilized and is in the process of recovery and will continue to be in the months ahead.

In the meantime, not much has progressed with the adoption...that is, until yesterday.  I received a call from our social worker that the Indian courts do not close in mid-May, as once thought.  They are closing this Friday, April 29th...three days--not three weeks--from now.  The good news is that we have a case number and are in the Chennai (Madras) court system.  It does not show a potential date for our case, but the social worker in India is "still hopeful" that our case will be heard before the close.  The good news in all of this? I am "still hopeful" that whatever the outcome, it will be the best timing possible.  I am not anxious or afraid as I once was.  There is a great peace that the best result will happen with both the adoption and with Dad's recovery (the "best" is not necessarily what I consider "best").  I am confident that this peace is a great gift from God.  So many have prayed for us at times when we were struggling to pray...thank you all!

So the waiting continues.....As we go through the ups and downs of good news and hard news, we do continue to trust in the will of God.  Will there ever be a time when I learn that I am NOT in control???  Maybe when I am 98 years old? :)  Until then, I will hopefully learn to trust Him more and more.

God heard our prayers! We've been scrutinized! :)

In the days of his flesh, Jesus offered up prayers and supplications, with loud cries and tears, to him who was able to save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverence.

                                         - Hebrews 5:7 ESV


This passage of Scripture is a great comfort right now...to know we have a God who hears us!  He knows our concerns, even before we know therm.  His Spirit is able to intercede on our behalf, even through our loud cries and tears.  What is even more of a comfort is reading the next verse, Hebrews 5:8..."Although he was a son, he learned obedience through what he suffered."  Yes, God heard his cries.  Does that mean he prevented Jesus, his own son, from dying on the cross for us?  Does that mean that Jesus rebelled and avoided the cross to keep from experiencing pain?  Jesus obviously obeyed.  


When our family requested prayer to bring Joshna home soon (the Day of Prayer for Joshna was on Tuesday, March 29), I knew God would hear our prayers.  What I didn't know was would he answer those with the results I wanted to see?  I was preparing myself for delayed results, trying to learn through this suffering, trying to prepare myself for the possibility that God has other plans for the adoption.  Little did any of us know that God was at work in Chennai on Tuesday!  Our case went before the Scrutiny Hearing, and we were approved to adopt Joshna!!!  PRAISE GOD!!!!!


We are truly humbled that God would work so quickly to move within the governmental system to grant us approval.  We want to express our deep gratitude for all of our friends and family (and even those we have never met!) for your countless prayers that went out on Tuesday--and for the many prayers throughout the past few years!  We did want to approach God reverently, not with the assumption that He would grant our wish immediately.  We thank God for his goodness and mercy to us and to our daughter!


The end of this process is nearing, and the next season of adjustment will soon begin.  While we are grateful for your prayers, we would like to request continued prayer for the following:

•  praise for the answered prayers!
•  for a court date to be set quickly
•  for the judge to show up to court on the date set
•  for a judge who will look upon our case favorably
•  for Joshna's passport to be issued quickly
•  for emotional preparation for the entire family, especially Joshna and Ellie

How is your weight?

A friend recently asked me, "How's your weight?"  "My weight?!?!?  Well, I have gained a few pounds.  Why do you ask?"  She replied, "Oh no!  No, not your weight!  Your wait!  How is the wait on the adoption going?"  I started thinking...how is my wait?  Am I filled with fear and distress, or am I filled with hope and confidence, trusting that God will complete His plan for us?  So much time has passed that I have begun to let doubt enter my thoughts.  Today and tomorrow mark the 3 1/2 year mark from the date we submitted our first round of paperwork and Joshna's 3 1/2 year birthday.  How many adoptions have I seen started and completed by others during this time?  Do I believe He is using this time to prepare Joshna and to prepare us?  Am I trusting that God truly is in control and has ordained a special time frame just for us?  Unfortunately, no.  Thankfully, God gives us grace....and He will give us Grace (Joshna's middle name)!  When my stepmother replied to an email requesting prayer for the adoption, she replied saying, "Thanking God in advance for the great things He will do!"  Wow!  When I think of that it gives me goosebumps.  God is doing great things and will continue to do great things!  Unfortunately, I have chosen to be blind to that at times.  He hears our prayers and is faithful to complete his work, despite our failure to trust Him.  So now when someone asks, "How's your wait?", I want to be able to respond that it is going well...that I am trusting God alone as His plan unfolds.

We do thank each of you for your prayers for Joshna's adoption into our family, and we look forward to the day we can send out updated news on how God has been at work!

Brilliant Light in the Midst of Darkness!

When I first heard Joshna's name (the Indian spelling of her name is Jyotsna), my first reaction was to search the meaning.  Unfortunately, I was unable to find an accurate description.  From what I could tell, I came to the conclusion that it was just the name of one of the Hindu goddesses.  I wrote a previous blog about my disappointment in not knowing the meaning...thankfully...because an Indian friend read the blog (thank you, Sonar!).  He inquired with his family to find the meaning of the name--a light.  But they said it is not just any light...it is a brilliant light in the midst of extreme darkness.  Wow!  What a sweet reference to the grace of God!  Such an incredible gift...this name of hers!  Little does our precious girl know the significance of her name when we use it to draw her into our family.  This one little piece of information came at such a needed moment as we wait.  It reminds me to keep my focus on Him, not on my own hopes and plans.

WANTED!...Seriously?!?!?!

Okay, fifth time's a charm!  Yes, we have now been fingerprinted on five separate occasions in order to bring home a little girl from India!  I know we seem "iffy" to some...but seriously!  Why can't the valuable time of government officials be spent doing more to be an advocate with the Chennai courts on our behalf to speed up the process to bring Joshna home...instead of taking our ever-changing fingerprints one more time (HA!)?  It has now been over one year since we first heard about our daughter, this specific child who has become so dear in our hearts despite never having met.  One year!  How have we spent that year?  Going to places all over the county to have our fingerprints taken again and again!  I am all for being safe when it comes to children being adopted internationally.  It is crucial to find safe, loving families for each one.  The amount of fingerprinting we have undergone, however, borders on harrassment.  We are officially registered with the Davidson County Police Department, Metro Nashville Public Schools, the Department of Homeland Security, the Federal Bureau of Inves-tigation, and the United States Citizen and Immigration Services.  Needless to say, we cannot even consider going back to the Bonnie and Clyde lifestyle that we once knew!  In case you are sensing my frustration over the delays, the repetitive paperwork and the multiple figer-printing sessions, you are correct.  I try to have a small degree of patience when it comes to the adoption.  After all, adopting internationally is not for the faint of heart. I am reaching my boiling point, however, and am as determined as wildfire to bring my daughter home!!!  Kindness and understanding have been my choice of attitude thus far.  Unfortunately, this is quickly changing with every day we wait to hear any little piece of information.  We need your prayers.  I personally need the grace to face each day.  My heart is hurting.  I grieve over every day not spent with our child.  She needs to be home.  Please pray for this to happen soon and for the ability to live each day to the fullest in the meantime.  It has now been two months since our approval from CARA.  Pray that our case would come before the Scrutiny Hearing soon and be referred on to the judge quickly.  Please pray for our family to travel to India before the end of the school year.  If this is not the plan for us, pray that our hearts would desire what God wants.  If I don't receive news soon, you all may just see me on a "WANTED!" poster when I go give everyone a piece of my mind...hee hee!

There's a wocket in my pocket???

Well, today is Valentine's Day.  That means our family, for the past fourteen days, has been giving each other little goodies to show a small token of our love and appreciation for each other.  These goodies--be it a homemade picture, silly band bracelets, or bubble gum--are placed in a special box or pocket made for each individual member of the family.  We call them "Love Pockets," after we discovered this idea from Ellie's preschool.  In case you may be wondering, yes, Joshna has her very own Love Pocket.  She is already a part of our family in so many ways, despite not being physically present, that we wanted her to know how much she is loved when she comes home to find her goodies waiting for her...even months after Valentine's is officially over.  Today's love pocket gift was a new thermos for the upcoming India trip.  Ellie received a blue thermos with her newest favorite character, Toy Story, while Joshna received a purple Tinkerbell one.  It has been special to find little treats for both girls!  I look forward to the day when they are both here to open next year's love pockets together!

I need to keep remembering this when I face rough days.  Yesterday during the worship service at church, I could not keep from crying.  It was breaking my heart to know Joshna was not there sitting with us, her family, where she belongs.  Ideally she would have come home on March 29, 2010...the day she was eligible for international adoption.  But God has another plan for our family.  I do appreciate this time to prepare for her homecoming.  I am just ready for that to happen.  The approvals seem to take so long!  We did just receive a Valentine email from our social worker saying she heard that our case has been filed with the Chennai court for our "scrutiny hearing" but to not count on anything happening for at least another month.  Even though this is good news, my heart is not becoming excited.  I am tired and worn down from this process.  After almost 3 years and five month of waiting, I am definitely feeling helpless and weak.  Yes, this is pointing me to God, who is not helpless and weak!  He will bring her home in His timing.  Until then, I will work on making the girls' room ready and wait....and wait....and wait!

Approval!!!

"Oh give thanks to the LORD for he is good;  for his steadfast love endures forever!"  -1Chronicles 16:34

Well, the long awaited day is here! We finally received our NOC (non-objection certificate) from CARA (Central Adoption Resource Agency). Our dossier was submitted in June, so we were very ready for this day! Just one week ago I wrote about my frustrations and how I was learning...and needed to continue to learn...to turn things over to God. I needed to trust in His timing, not mine. Well, His timing is perfect! He really did use this time to teach me complete reliance upon Him. I have a feeling we will be continuing to learn about His timing from this point.

The first question people have asked when they hear this news is, "What happens next?"  Well, here is what our social worker had to say, "The orphanage will be filing her case with the Chennai court within the next week and then there will be the Scrutiny and final hearings."  This sounds like great news--it is!  Unfortunately, the timing for the Indian courts is not the same timing for the US courts.  There are many national holidays, judges can change, judges go on holiday...you get the point.  Some people wait six or seven months for the court approval.  We do have one advantage in that our I-600 approval does expire in June, so hopefully they will expedite our case by that time, should we reach it.

Please continue to pray.  We do want to send out prayers of thanksgiving for God's mercy in giving us approval with CARA to adopt Joshna.  They could have requested much more paperwork from us, which would have slowed us down even more.  We are grateful for approval the first time! 

Please pray for Joshna to continue to be held safe in God's hands, for her to be surrounded by his Spirit, for her to be held and played with often, for her to have plenty of nourishment and rest, and for her to know of Christ's love and our love for her.  As she receives our family photo album, please pray that she would register who we are--her forever family.  Pray that she would begin to have an excitement to join our family.  Pray for her heart to be prepared for the huge change about to happen in her life with moving here and leaving all she knows.  Pray for her caregiver to be prepared for her to leave--that God will fill her heart with peace and with a potential child to care for in the future.  Pray for her health to remain strong through it all.  And once again, praise God for his goodness and love! 

Please also pray for our family here, as we undergo so much change.  Pray for Ellie to know without any doubts how much she is loved!!!  This will be a hard adjustment for her.  In reading this blog someday, she may see just how much we longed for Joshna and prayed for her to join our family.  Unfortunately, I did not blog when Ellie was born, otherwise there would be just as many posts about our prayers, excitement and anticipation of the day she would be born!  My heart yearned--and still does yearn--for our precious daughter, Ellie!  Pray that she would feel this love, that she would know she is not being replaced or becoming less important.  Pray that she would have a great love for her sister and that her sister would have a great love for her.  Pray that she would continue to have a good routine through the transition and that she too will feel God's love and our love for her.

As far as logistics go, please pray for a court date to be set soon.  Please pray for a favorable judge, one who will show up to court.  Pray for our acceptance of whatever timing is right for Joshna to come home, even if that means waiting even more months.  Pray for our faith in God to not waiver, for our trust to be in Him and not ourselves.  Pray that we will be able to communicate with the dear ladies at the orphanage (Christ Faith Home for Children in Chennai, India) just how much we love them and are grateful for them for caring for our precious girl!

Our hearts are so overwhelmed with many emotions right now.  We are just so grateful to our dear family and friends for your love and support throughout this process.  I know, the process is just getting started...it's called life.  God knows who we need for encouragement and love through the process.  Just know that we are grateful for the people he has put in our lives.  Thank you for the many prayers!

Praise the LORD!  Praise the LORD!!!

"Oh Where Is My Hairbrush???"--I mean paperwork?

For those of you who are familiar with the Veggie Tales silly songs, you probably know the one about the hairbrush....in fact, you probably can't get it out of your head right now.  "Oh where is my hairbrush?  Oh where is my hairbrush? Oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where, oh where...is my hairbrush????"  Well, instead of hairbrush, insert "paperwork."  I am asking that right now.  We have not had any negative news about misplaced paperwork, but I am beginning to feel that our paperwork could have been misplaced somewhere along the way.  Is it really in CARA's office waiting approval?  I just left a message for our social worker, so hopefully it will be checked and we will be given a response soon.  Who knows, the inquiry may just be what it takes to remind someone out there just how long we have been waiting.  Until then, I will try to keep trusting in God's perfect timing.  I will try to focus on what He is teaching me and how He is preparing our family during the wait.